Womaniya din especial

This article is a little late for Women’s Day, but it’s something I still want to talk about—the absence of strong female role models for many women growing up in India.

In patriarchal households like the one I grew up in—even the supposedly educated ones—free-thinking women are often villainized. A woman who demands her rights, sets boundaries, or simply states what she wants is seen as difficult, rebellious, or “too much.”

When I was growing up, I didn’t see many women who lived unapologetically. I saw educated women, yes—but many who quietly deferred to husbands and families, women who had voices but rarely used them. Some had romanticized struggle so deeply that sacrifice had become their identity. Others had convinced themselves that destiny had already been written for them.

And when a young girl grows up watching this, how exactly is she supposed to learn to draw boundaries? How is she supposed to look at a room full of male heirs and say, “I am just as capable, if not more”?

Some of the women I saw growing up carried silent battles their entire lives. A few of them left this world far earlier than they should have. I often wonder if the constant emotional negotiation required to exist within a system that treats you like a burden simply became too heavy.

What disturbed me even more was how easily women were persuaded to give up whatever financial independence they had—to sons, brothers, or male relatives who promised “support.” Or how they quietly held entire households together while unemployed husbands chased abstract spiritual quests but still claimed the authority of being “the man of the house.”

This is my perspective, shaped by what I saw growing up.

And it’s why I believe the absence of strong female role models is not a small cultural gap—it’s a dangerous one. Because when girls grow up without women who embody agency, courage, and self-respect, the only model they are shown is sacrifice.

And sacrifice alone is not empowerment.

Young women deserve better role models than the glorified image of the endlessly self-sacrificing woman who believes that silence is strength. True empowerment begins when women see other women claim space, speak openly, and live on their own terms.